The Top Eleven Excuses to Miss Yoga Practice – Updated

The all important countdown of excuses to miss that 4am wake up call for the day’s Mysore Ashtanga yoga practice. In ascending order:

11. Ate too much chocolate the night before (no chance of Marichyasana D binding)
10. Slept through alarm
9. Alarm clock stopped working
8. Blocked nose (being able to breathe is after all kind of integral to yoga)
7. Aggressive Massage (the type that leaves you black and blue with bruises)
6. Vomiting (especially if it is pink – totally not eating beetroot again…)
5. Constant diarrhea
4. Menstruation (for the ladies obviously)
*NEW ENTRY* 3. Quasimodo Eye – (a rare afflication bestowed on a unlucky few wherein an eyelid swells up for no apparent reason leaving you semi-blinded and looking grotesque).
2. A monkey stealing your yoga mat (more common in India I would assume)
1. And the unassuming but ultimate number one: peeling itchy sunburn.

The number one may not seem as severe as say vomiting, but let me tell you, the itchy, stinging pain of peeling sunburnt skin is perhaps the most excruciating and exasperating pain one can experience. And when combined with humidity and sweat…. it will push you to the edge believe me.

And let me add that all of the above have happened to me (some at the same time) causing a another guilty absence at the day’s practice.

It would seem being in Mysore has lead to a continual and worsening process of bodily malfunction rather than the blossoming I had anticipated. Oh thank you India, you never cease to delight…


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